Is the House Testing Me...

Honoring those who made the supreme sacrifice

Right after Dave passed away things in the house started to break down. Was the house testing me? 

First the washing machine drain plugged up and we had to get that routed out. Then the stool base started leaking like crazy.  I had to get a new seal put on it and re-seated plus the drain to the tub was afoul, had the stopper removed on it, now it drains normally.

Next the faucet in my bathroom gave up its spout while I was washing my hair.  It popped off and water was gushing from the base.   I turned it off immediately, noticed there were two O rings and shoved it back in place.  What I didn't know was the dome screwed down to keep it in place so of course it popped back off.  Thanks to the Marchant’s and Victor having had worked at Lowe’s, I got that problem solved.

Light Bulbs…I discovered that Dave bought a boat load of regular incandescent light bulbs.  The light bulb went out on the vent-a-hood.  Oh bother!  Something else to change.

I like washing dishes…what more can I say. It lets me gather my thoughts and loose myself for a few moments.  Sink stopper…where is that darn sink stopper.  I know we have a rubber one to plug the drain, can I find it? NOOOO!  It has grown legs and walked away apparently.  I had to use the original metal one that leaks like a sieve.  Wash those dishes fast girlfriend.    Looks like I’m off to Wally world here in a bit to get new sink stoppers. 

That was the one thing in all the years I never had to worry with, was maintenance on the house.  Dave always took care of everything for me.  Whole new world, is all I can say. Now where is that Readers Digest "Complete Do-it-yourself" Manual we bought years ago?

The Household Bible

So how was your Memorial Day?  Mine was a blast, listening to my house protest.  At least I was up early enough to set out the Flags!

The Kindness of Others...

Dave and his girls

I’m always amazed when I tell people that my love has passed away and their reaction to it. Most are in shock, other comforting. As I say, hugs are always good. 

I was in Chick- fil-A last week to pick up a salad for lunch.  The woman behind the counter was telling me how wonderful the day was and I started crying to which she came around the counter and asked what was wrong.  I told her about Dave and she just gathered me in her arms and started praying, all the while I am crying.  I’m sure we were quite a sight.  A beautiful black woman and a white woman holding on to each other as if we would disappear if we didn't. Afterwards I felt so much better and she added me to her list of people she was praying for.

I saw her again yesterday and she called me by name, again taking my hands, offering a quick prayer, soothing a broken soul.

Dave and Heather

Last weekend I met the Marchant’s, who were the couple that Dave and I were to meet for dinner for the first time the day he died.  They are a lovely couple and we clicked right off.  Talked for over 3 hours. I met them again Wednesday night and we had a lovely dinner at Ted Café Escondido.  We all went back to their motor home so Victor could show me around the rig and let me look at what I am wanting to get myself into…I’m game.  Again we talked, this time 5 hours.  Where did the time go?  They are a blessing to me.  Thanks Earlene and Victor for your love and kindness.  It means a lot to me. I will miss them when they hit the road full-time in their Motor Home.  It's the "Call of the Open Road" thing.

Filling out the paperwork to claim the benefits has be grueling. The Social Security Office unbearable, yet the people on the other end of the phone and windows have been so nice, supportive and patient.  Yet each set of papers is a horrible emotional drain.  I feel so helpless afterwards and the tears and panic come easily. 

A friend of Dave's, from the east coast, called to see how I was doing on Monday. He's still in shock.  It's friends like that, that count.  The ones who give you support after everyone else has left. They're the "Blessings" as I call them. 

It's the support from my co-workers who come into my office during the day and let me cry on their shoulder and to hug and get hugged in return.  

What do you say to the person that floats you funds so you can make your house payment because your funds have been frozen? They didn't hesitate one second to make sure I could make the payment.  Such kindness.

Dave was a kind soul and treated people as such.  The man always had a smile on his face.  The fruits of his labor are returning 10 fold. 

For those of you who did not get the pleasure of knowing him, a recording was made at his Celebration of Life event. This will give 

you a chance to get to hear and see a glimpse of the wonderful man I called my husband. I was so blessed to have him in my life.

The last picture I took of Dave

It’s now up to me to carry on his kindness…and so I shall, with pleasure.

Scattered...

It’s been a little over a month since Dave shed his earthly husk. I went back to work May 6th , a very emotional day for sure.  Last Wednesday Shawn Arnold a former student of Dave’s and now my attorney took me to pick up his remains.  Afterwards we took Dave to the Interurban in a gift bag. Matt Biddick a friend of ours and former soccer parent joined us; we toasted Dave, told stories, and had a great time remembering what an all-around wonderful person he was. I’m sure he was laughing at the stories we told.  I was more at peace at that moment than at any other time during all of this.  Thanks Shawn and Matt!

Dave is home

His Celebration of Life Memorial was wonderful.  It’s what he would have wanted.  You will be able to view it on celebratingdavidsmeal.shutterfly.com   in the coming weeks when we get the video up once we receive it.

I have tons of thank you’s to write, but am exhausted by the time I get home, that I can barely make it through dinner.  I have to get over that, hopefully I can soon.

Tomorrow is trash day so need to gather up the trash and get it out to the curb.  All the little things I have to remember now.  It's List Time folks!  I could have huge lists like Dave but it’s hard to eat an elephant that way.  Break it down to 6 things on your to do list, accomplish those and move on to the next 6.  If some did not get done, roll those to the top of the list for the next day.  Small bites will get the elephant eaten, in my case Godzilla.  But that’s just around the house and not at work.  More lists!  UGH!

I have made the decision that I will be retiring at the end of March of next year.  I will be 66 then and at full retirement age and will be able to collect social security with no penalties. That gives me time to get things in order that need to be done.  Sorry Bobbie, I had to bump it back a bit.

in recalculating the days, I have 322 days until I retire.

Hopefully I will have my RV before then and will be able to start taking short trips (State Parks) to get used to it before taking long trips.

So here’s to a new chapter.  A clean page…what to write?

The Blessing of the Grans...

Playtime at the park

After I had informed the girls the fate of their father, KC arrived here around 12:30 a.m. and her sister and family arrived at 4:30 a.m. Sunday.  My brother and sister-n-law came down Saturday afternoon, late and were an immense help. If we needed something they went and got it. One of Christie's closest friends came in to stay with me as well.  I was never left alone and for that I am grateful. Needless to say the day and days following were exhausting.  They had to make me eat as I was running on pure adrenalin and was forgetting that I needed to eat. 

People were in and out of the house bringing food, dropping off arrangements. The worst was having to make phone calls to family and friends to inform them that Dave was gone. One word comes to mind "SHOCK"  People were speechless. Soon stories started coming forth of how very special he was and an all around great guy.  

Flowers from the Jensen's in Canada

But the saving grace of the week was the "Grans." They brought so much joy in such sorrow. Their precious smiles would light up a room. You couldn't help but smile back, pick them up and give them a big squatch and blow huge raspberries on their little tummies. 

One evening after a very hectic day, we took the boys to the park after dinner to play as they had not been able to get outside.  They ran and climbed the "Big Toy" and hid in the maze, played Peek-a-Boo with their Auntie.  It was good to be able to just sit and watch and think how much Dave would have loved playing with them.

Noah on the BIG TOY at the park



Yes they were noisy, but they were jewels.  Their sweet smiles took away some of the sadness. 

Andy working a puzzle

It's amazing how your perspective of things can change in a heartbeat. I know mine did. 


The boys are a blessing to me and I do love them so. 

The End of a Day